Biscuit anyone?

"Delight yourselves in God and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37 v 4)

I've recently noticed my strange response if, when people come around to mine, they don't want my biscuits. I kind of leap back off the chair again, anxiously asking 'are you sure?' - thrusting the whole tin (a very nice on it is too) with all the selection, just to tempt them! No wonder that in the end people generally give in... although I like to think it's my selection and nothing else! I've got all my faves; which I am not tempted to eat somehow the rest of the time, I hasten to add. Unlike if I have crisps in the house. Or chocolate. Or cake. Or pretty much anything else!
(I wonder why this reaction is? Could it be that the biscuits - all my favourites in one tin) represent me in some way?!) Anyway it has become a total joy and motivation to me to be reaching out to people whether in my home or at church; one that must totally be from God.

Last Sunday was so cool - I finally caught up with the new friend I'd met in the welcome cafe a while ago and who then found me again a few weeks later but who, since then, I'd steadily missed; I even went to the early service a few times in order to try and bump into her, because she does not know many people yet and has been recently widowed (at 38 years old with a teenage daughter). And on this same Sunday, an old friend who is in the middle of a life change came along to the second service and I was able to have her over for lunch.

This is possibly my first instance of 'last minute' hospitality. And I've been a bit precious about my Sundays, to say the least. I certainly have a loooonng way to go before I can think of myself as having the life attitude of those friends, Lyra & Mark, who modelled to me so instrumentally, this style of Christian living & hospitality; for both serving in the church and/or a life ready to serve those people who are the church.

But it's mainly in the week that I really enjoy having people around, whether to pray, catch up or get people together. It's wonderful; it feels like I'm finally able to be 'useful' and have a purpose (almost a calling in my heart) and that feels good. Most amazingly, this inclination started over 2 years ago - almost at the same time exactly that inner healing issues began to 'hot up' - I would probably be totally self obsessed if God had let me deal with this without these distractions of His concern for others ... !)

Well Andrew preached a fab sermon on Sunday on Giving which, somehow gave him the legitimate excuse to stand at the front of the church stuffing pringles into his mouth & spraying them out on the stage (!) but his wrapping-up point was especially good for me because it summarised the way in which our whole life, resources as well as time & energy etc., can be for God.

Are you giving? Do you think this just means your 'tithe' and worry cos you aren't giving as much as maybe you should? Well maybe you are giving more than your realise. (For example your time, your home ... and your biscuits!) And, crucially, I have come to believe, if it's what God has put in you to do (or give) then it's enjoyable. As one friend pointed out to me a while ago about in-church service 'when you know that you're in the right place and feel that it's a really good thing to be doing; then it's probably God's will for you to serve there'.

So I can carry on inviting people etc.- which I like to do - & know that I'm living a life of use... and know that God will draw me into more and different kinds of service, as I obey him in something that I enjoy doing. Yay.

Biscuit anyone?!

(NB. talking of biscuits; click on the cup of tea at the side & then 'the what' and you might still be able to read my article that was published by another site. What an honour; they referred to me as a 'writer' along with some really talented ladies! However, the incident I used feels like a bit of a fuss about nothing now; the kind of thing that still happens occasionally and is used by God to take me forward in healing & understanding, whether at work or not. But it made a a good story dramatic outline !)

Your grace will be my song

Well, been a bit too busy and focussed for much creativity lately; but sometimes when it's hard to express the complexity of what's going on & what I'm learning (so much!) from God in this daily adventure, the only way is to try and rhyme it. (Try being the operative word!) This was actually inspired by the passage in 1 Peter 1 that the speaker referred to on Sunday. I can't remember the sermon (!) but this passage really spoke to me; I felt it summarised where I'm at.

Your love set me free
From burdens that stayed
The weight of years
Lifted away.

Every challenge
Rejection that comes
You lead my response;
A better one.

I'm seeking your face
Lord, I cannot see
Yet your kindly gaze
Is holding me.


You're guiding me
All day long
Your grace is my song

You're leading my worship
To soak in your love;
To gain from your choice
When you took my place.

I'm still rejoicing
Though grief unallayed -
More potent become
My joy & my praise.

A living hope
You are my shield
All day long
Your grace will be my song

(1 Peter 1)

8th Feb 2009

So Far So ...

Well I was inordinately excited the other day when someone told me they'd started getting my blog in a reader; so it inspired me to write one: here are some cheering events this year so far:


I am an auntie again...to a little nephew this time, ahh - he's been named after my dad, aint that nice! Here's a nice little pic of him in the arms of his doting sister ... (yawning already I see, takes after his auntie Sares!!)

Got notification of a pay rise; which will be backdated from last October as well as being more substantial than hoped. Very cool; especially in the light of the recent natural ending of the care home shifts (one closed); I am SO enjoying my Saturdays off at the moment!

Passed the last exam (theology) yay; albeit not very classily!The marker made the following comment: "Your mark would have been higher but for question 1g of the context quetsions when you gave the context the text as John's Gospel rather than 1 John" (!!!!)..."There was much that was good and thoughtful in your answers generally, so well done. A credit or distinction is well within 'your grasp' as the answers show" (Hee hee!)....I think I am going to continue the course for another 4 modules to get the next certificate; especially interested in one just on Ephesians - cool!

Ah the sweetest old gent (aged 88) I spoke to today, he was looovvely; so grateful for help and when I commented that he had some good friends looking after him (& he really does have good neighbours) he said he thanked God for them, and all the help he gets from the council. Bless him! And we have his picture, just as lovely as he sounds. I want to adopt him but apparently I'd lose my job (!!)

Continued revelation from God in wonderful ways; He is amazing - I heard a speaker talking about how God's healing for her had taken many years and many layers of healing; but by the time it was finished she was in love with the Healer. Isn't that wonderful? I feel like I know what she means.

Still great worship - at church the worship leaders are all mixing in some older songs with the newer which is wonderful. (We sang Majesty recently!)

So funny though, the leader this week was commenting on the words from the one we'd just sung being so profound compared to many newer ones... and he mentioned Shine Jesus Shine a few times as an example of how great it is that there are new Christians in the church who wouldn't know it because people are being saved etc. Anyway, his face when the elder said he felt we should sing that! I thought, I'm gonna sit down for this one! But it was lovely; really moving for some reason. I forgot how cool the verses are. AND - it was hilarious - the guy behind me just knew the words to the chorus and would suddenly belt them out really loudly - ahead of the band! Thankfully I was so much enjoying the worship that it made me laugh every time...

God's been putting people (friends) in my way; more and more; been learning to follow the Holy Spirit even about when & how to reach out when it's needed; for example the friend who really struggles with some things, we get together most weeks and sometimes we pray and sometimes we don't; and I resist the temptation to think that I must be in touch all the time as if I'm the answer to her troubles and not God.

Have just emailed the kids worker today that I'm going to stop doing it. I know I shouldn't be there, I've not really been enjoying it or had opportunities to teach them/speak to them about Jesus which I like best and is in my heart; I had a mini-revelation about this months ago really, when I realised that all the time I'd been getting more confident and leading in my old church was part of God's healing work and not necessarly a call to children's work all the time. And I know I AM in the right place in the welcome team.

'Focussed viewing' as one friend labelled my non- TV license situation; I like it still. Have been enjoying all series of Scrubs, kindly lent by my colleague's son... but even I am starting to feel a bit 'scrubbed out'!!! Check it out here (Overkill is the best!) if you've been unfortunate enough never to have seen this bonkers series.


.... Good!

Free

"It was for freedom that Christ has set us free; no longer to be subject, to a yoke of slavery (to sin and guilt - whether real or perceived, recent or long ago and buried deep!); and we're rejoicing in God's victory, our hearts responding to his love."

I've been really realising how guilt and rejection are key areas where Christians are attacked and kept from joy by Satan. And they are key areas for our emotional health. Maybe because they are the worst for getting in the way of our relationship with God.

And I wondered the other day, if these are the two areas that caused Jesus most non-physical pain on the cross. He carried all of our guilt and was totally rejected by his Father as a result. Derek Prince says that Jesus, who died before sufferers on the cross usually did, died of a broken heart (because his heavenly father with whom he had been in loving & constant communication since before time began) turned his back on him; because of us.

So then, logically; what a waste to feel or act out of guilt (sometimes a subconsious thing only) when Jesus has already been punished for it already. And we can be free.

There. Just thought I'd share!

Rich (Another year)

Well I thought I'd better explain to subscribing friends; the reason you are getting intermittent emails of old blogs is a complete mystery and not initiated by me, I promise; I have practically lost that blogging bug & have even reduced my page yet my old blogs are still taking themselves into people's inboxes! However - well, you may think I'm a bit obssessed with seeing God in everything; but is it co-incidence that the recent re-pinging of 'A disappointed God' at this time has resulted in a friend sending it on to a non-Christian friend for whom it is relevant? I think not!! (And it was a personal favourite of mine that one.)

And the one I told an elder & the speaker at my church about at the time (cos is seemed like a picture from God) emailing them the link to read it, ha! The other elder also found my site some time ago... he said to me '...it's a bit girlie'. Outrageous! (I hastily got rid of the link to a site called 'girl talk' that was currently at the top though) Girlie...tuh. I prefer 'powerful' as a wise friend from my old church said once (!)

Anyway - I forgot what fun it was to digress; won't do it again though I promise; This is an opportunity to fill you in on what God's been doing (in a modern substitute for cheery/cheesy Christmas card type summary of the year). I couldn't do that in a card anyway because on the face of it nothing much is happening; now people are used to my move of job, flat, church and town all within the space of 3 months...

But the last year or so has just been amazing. It just feels like I took a step of faith to change my circumstances (not against my inclinations at the time of course!) and blessing upon blessing came as a result. It feels like God is 'restoring the years the locusts have eaten'. The last 15 months has seen so much freedom in so many areas. Don't get me wrong; it's not all been plain sailing ay. I have had some moments (!) especially as a tendency towards resentment was gradually dealt with culminating in freedom from this around the middle of this year. The learning is still continuing all the time.

As a summary I would say that I finally caught up with the true power and meaning of the gospel of grace and love.

Oct/Nov 07 - Prophecy workshop where, in an interesting twist, I was called from a group to make up the numbers in another one that included just one older lady and 2 young girls; I thought 'oh no' in my sinful mind (!) little knowing that the lady was known in the church for her prophetic gifting!! The words she had for me were so relevant and tied in with previous ones as well as meeting concerns I had at the time. (I even had 2 words for her (which made sense to her).

Nov 07 - Joyce Meyer DVD teaching about how a failure to really know God's love for us impacts on the way we perceive ourselves through the eyes of others, and therefore our relationships. Kind of a gentle but huge learning here!

Feb 08 - Freedom in Christ conference leading to me following the steps for 8 weeks and seeing the power of God's word to reveal deep-rooted lies I was still believing without realising (you would not believe! Honestly!) and to break down strongholds built around them by our enemy.

May 08 - Empower conference during which I learned to receive the Holy Spirit's ministering to my heart and was set free totally to really worship God in a way I'd only realised I wasn't recently; an amazing word from a church member who prayed for me on day 2 and release from 'something' when one of the Elders just passed by, put his hand on my head and said 'it's done' 3 times.

The power of worshipping God, in all circumstances (though sometimes this needs to start merely from obedience sometimes not feeling) ... I honestly think this is the most powerful gift from God.

July 08 - another visiting speaker with his word that tied in with others in the past.

Autumn 08 - twice I felt God calling me up the front but was aware that I didn't want to take up the attention of the leaders etc. when there were so many others/newer or whatever. Both times I took the friend who was with me at the time and was blessed hugely through their prayer.

And the fruit of all this? Definitely an increase in love, joy & peace, more patience & kindness, definitely more faith, and some self control! A gift of encouragement is really coming out as I am led to people and friends in mutual encouragement and building up; and a whole negative view of life has been turned around, swept away by God's love; one that I didn't even realise in myself, having long ago learned to be 'content' yet still expect the worst somehow.

And next year? Who knows. Blessings from God will be included, I do know that.

Latest hot off the press; although blogging has totally played a part in continuing release into honest testimony, in recent months this has been more relevant and powerful in 1-1 situations; and blogging seems to be coming to a natural end. However, an article I wrote for another site a few weeks ago is going to be posted by them, in March (yay - she liked my writing and my honesty!). I shall keep you posted.