Contact

I work in a contact centre. That is NOT a call centre; I actually can't believe how helpful we are (!) my collegues and I. We frequently get someone contacting us for something we cannot help with, that is literally not the remit of the organisation we represent. Although there are 'grey areas' ... which doesn't make it easy but is more interesting. But we go out of our way to advise & explore other avenues. It is frustrating not being able to help sometimes; but just a listening ear & willingness is often appreciated.

It is so interesting talking to people. And such an eye-opener about people's lives.


Anyway. So... I said to one of my colleagues that I was going to 'blog' about something that happened. And later in the week, one of the others said 'you'll have to put that in your blog Sarah' ... then conversation ensued about what is a blog and 'are you a Christian then?' (we recently moved at work so I'm sitting with different people who I don't know as well, they're still lovely though.)



Somehow, this week at work, despite an ever-dwindling team & unpropitious circumstances, we managed to maintain good spirits & have a laugh.

This was our week:

Monday:

Two of my colleagues were smashed into by a driver trying to park (!) and they haven't been at work all week since. An abusive caller - who had previously been racist towards my Spanish colleague; the team he was put through to sit near to us so we could hear our colleague's side
of the conversation. She was fab. (She had to terminate the call though).



Tuesday:
The loveliest colleague of them all - seriously, just an almost too-good-to-be-true nice person was complained about by one of the teams (admin assistant) that she'd been rude. Three of us heard the conversation ... apart from the fact she's chronically incapable of being rude, she totally hadn't been. Quite a good illustration of the kind of obstruction & attitude we face from other departments, to the point where we sometimes wonder if we are actually working together towards a common purpose.


Thursday:
So ridiculously quiet even though less than half the team here - we took it upon ourselves to ring our number from mobiles to check out the line... turned out we weren't getting calls but they were being made; they were just being re-routed (by _ _) to a random gentleman in a completely different county who had been receiving our calls all afternoon!


Friday:
I had an elderly gentleman who had been badly wounded in the war and started off saying he was going to 'tell me about his wounds and it might take a few minutes' (! canny questioning to get to the bottom of why they're calling is often needed in this job!)



Actually today got worse & worse; I spent the whole afternoon dealing with a case phoned through by the police that couldn't be passed on.

But I was cheered up by my colleague finding a notice in the Friday Ad that said 'Due to the success of our closing down sale we've decided to remain open'. Classic!


Well, this is another email that came round. It's not always the people answering the 'phone - even in call centres - that can seem obstructive or stupid you know!

Actual call centre conversations

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.


Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.


Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.


Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.



S-------

Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'


Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.


Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before
cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'


Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.



--- Motoring Services


Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?' Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'



Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.


Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'


Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.





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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'


Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'.


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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.


Customer: 'OK'.


Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.


Customer: 'No'.


Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'


Customer: 'No'.


Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'. Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''



This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'


Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'


Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'


Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?'


Caller: 'They disappeared.'


Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'


Caller: 'Nothing.'


Operator: 'Nothing??'


Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'


Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'


Caller: 'How do I tell?'


Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'


Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'


Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'


Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'


Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'


Caller: 'What's a monitor?'


Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'


Caller: 'I don't know.'


Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'


Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'


Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: 'Yes, it is.'


Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'


Caller: 'No.'


Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'


Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'


Caller: 'I can't reach.'


Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'


Caller: 'No.'


Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'


Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'


Operator: 'Dark??'


Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.


Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'


Caller: 'I can't.'


Operator: 'No? Why not??'


Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power........ A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too ------ stupid to own a computer!!!!!'