Who am I?

'University of Brighton: Physical Education (BA Hons)' read the sweatshirt I followed into the shop. 'Lifeguard 2005 'declared the bright red jumper in front of me in the shopping centre.

People are looking all over the place for their identity: their talent, fame, popularity, work, maybe even their talents or their favourite football team ...I think that for Christians (just as much as everyone else) surrounded as we are by media & peer expectation & competition ... it's really easy to look elsewhere that Christ to find our value. Perhaps unconsiously much of the time.

After I'd written this, just yesterday at church someone had a word from God on this very subject; she used the illustration of her husband's football shirt attracting attention & conversation from fellow-fans during their shopping expedition. How he wore the shirt with pride and there was an identity inherent in being a follower of this team. And God said to her a lovely positive message about how it's in Him that we need to know our identity first & foremost.

For many Christians maybe it's the church and their role or acceptance there which gives help define them. And it's good - important even - to know what our role in the church is - see 1 Cor 12 & Rom 12 especially. Just as long as it doesn't become our main identity.

I find that many people feel let down by the church leader apparently not valuing them. It's as if they feel their sense of worth within the church is underminded by this lack of knowledge/attention from the leadership. And of course, church leaders should be aware of those who in their pastoral care - Paul's letters (toTimothy & Thessalonians for e.g.) show leaders clearly need to know about their church & what goes on in it. But practically speaking, in a big or growing church, pastoral care needs to be structured differently. And people will slip through the 'net'.

But would it matter so much if we all looked to God first for our identity & reminded ourselves of how precious we are to him. That we are "precious & honoured in his sight ... "; that he formed us & planned our birth (see Psalm 139) and he has good plans for us (Jeremiah 29).

My experience of inner healing has shown me how feeling more secure/confident of who I am in Christ - with attendent skills - has freed me to serve in the church, rather than need it. It has put me in a place to reach out to others rather than needing them to reach out to me. To 'give of' myself, to be able to honestly share things that once I couldn't before. And I've seen, time & time again, how that has encouraged others to be able to share things they've been struggling with and then help them see a different perspective on it and how God has used it, etc.

One of four specific verses that God gave me about a year ago was the famous one from Corinthians "In Christ I am a new creation, the old has gone & the new has come" & I said to God; why would you give me that verse? I'm not a new Christian!! But it's so key, it has proved to be such a strengthening verse to know, claim and meditate on.

“Understanding your identity in Christ is absolutely essential for your success at living a victorious Christian life.


No person can consistently behave in a way that’s inconsistent with the way he perceives himself.” Dr. Neil T. Anderson (Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ)

The following statements are from the 3 lists in the F in C book - along with the verses from which they truth is taken. I love these because they are so powerful to say as truths to undermine our enemy. And they remind me that it’s all been done; this is how God sees us now because of what Jesus has done:

I have been adopted as God’s child (Eph 1 v 5)
I am complete in Christ (Col 2 10)
I am free from any condemning charges against me (Rom 8 31 – 34)
I cannot be separated from the love of God (Rom 8 35 +)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col 3 v 3) (that is amazing, I can't get my head round it)

On the back of the book it says: ...Steps to freedom in Christ... is especially helpful if you feel that you are not growing as you should, or if you want to break free from: Condemning thoughts; Patterns of wrong behaviour (I think this includes over-reacting) Spiritual struggles; Hopelessness

I remember at group once in my 20s (Baptist church) saying how I struggled & didn’t seem to get better in my walk. And everybody said ‘I’m sure you don’t … it can't be that bad, you exaggerate’ etc (in a nice way). But I knew!

Now, in my small group now it's the exact opposite - they're all so open about their struggles with Christian walk etc. It feels so safe to be open. And it's so important to be able to be. Because we're never going to get it all sorted now/at any point. We are a work in progress. But the process of becoming confident in who I am, something that's been SO gradual for many years; gives the ability to be open about flaws, without feeling that my faults & weaknesses and rejections define who I am in a fundamental way.

This has been (& still is to some extent) an up & down process. And it won't be completed on this earth. But, like Paul " I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you (me!) will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Phil 1 v 6)

Do you ever find when you read the same passage or verses that something different leaps out at you each time. This is happening as I work through the statements. The other day this one really leaped out at me;

John 15 v 16 "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit; fruit that will last".

And I suddenly realised; so if the reason God chose me was to bear fruit; the fruit of the spirit, listed in Galatians 5 v 22 - and that is what is (OH SO SLOWLY!) happening, through the delay in getting healing or whatever it is that I want ... then I am fulfilling my purpose. I think I get so waylaid - firstly by the second half of that verse; and secondly- by (self imposed) guilt that I'm not witnessing enough or effectively, that I forget - that work of growing is part of what I've been appointed for.

Who am I? I am a 'child of God' (Ephesians 1 v 5) - working with God (2 Cor 6) - and, by focussing on him, remaining in him and not looking around elsewhere for my identity & self-esteem, I am being drawn closer to Him, to bear fruit and change.

There's something SO cool about being appointed to change, in a good way; yet being chosen & accepted for who I am now. (That's something you can't get anywhere else.) Praise God!