Your way Lord, not mine

I wish I could explain effectively to people how things are for me, it's so strange & yet so amazing; I feel that if I could then people could know even more how in charge God is & the way He loves to bless us; but in His own way. This is my attempt to get it clear in my mind, as well as felt.
I am being so blessed by God at the moment, it just keeps me going so I almost forget that healing is taking, what for me, seems far too long.

I read recently, in a novel, someone say how things that happen to us/hurts (life!) are trapped in our bodies; and I was amazed because I've never come across that idea apart from the fact it's true for me. At the moment - well for quite a while now - it's like the Holy Spirit is healing me from the bottom up; starting deep down, emotionally & physically, and slowly but surely, & recently a well of joy is rising up; since the other weekend especially, as I've been 'waiting' on God's power more; and as a result I want to pray with people more & more. (But when I do, it seems God is moving in me, blessing me!)

(And when I do pray for others, I pray for healing if required, because that's in line with His will as taught in the bible; but I also pray that they'll be blessed in other ways - because I know, now, that God has so many more ways of blessing us than we can ask for, and to limit it 'just' to healing (or whatever the need is) doesn't take into account all the other good things that He loves to give us and how much He longs to pore into us Himself. The best thing I've learned lately; to come to God for a blessing is not too selfish; because each time I do, He just makes it so I want to come to God for himself & that I'm enjoying just His presence.)

However - there are things (like we all have) that are sometimes making me feel sad or hurt (which I've taken into my physical self in the past rather than felt). Also, it can still, physically, be a real struggle at times to be sociable; among other things - a recurring 'strained' feeling; my face actually aches, my head feels heavy, and it's hard to smile (although that's been better lately to.) But I do feel stronger somehow, more 'in control': I can feel myself sitting up straight & ... just feeling more with-it, I guess. I can see God is really healing me from the inside out & from the bottom up (!) and I feel like it's nearly there.

But it's in God's timing: & I really wouldn't have it any other way. If I hadn't suffered over the last years; if God had 'pow' just healed me of physical ill-health, then I would still be introverted & resentful & all sorts; and how would I know so uniquely God's amazing grace, kindness & love & power to change us while, at the same times, making us more who we really are and more able to know Him and His love?(I could go on & on about what God is/has been doing, but I'll spare you). Just.... Praise God!

(NB. I'm hoping to do a coupla blogs/articles about suffering; watch this space ....)