A Guilt-free God

Does putting your trust in Jesus really mean freedom from guilt? Guilt from the past (whether we were to blame or not) guilt about not praying enough; guilt about not witnessing enough; guilt about reacting in irritation to people; guilt about not giving enough time to people who need it, being selfish with our time... like really totally free? Now that's what I call good news!

I heard that a famous non-Christian psychiatrist a long time ago once said that guilt was at the bottom of every psyche illness people had. And Rob Rufus, at the Empower conference at the weekend said the same thing. And I'm realising we need to remind ourselves daily of the reality & implications of the fact that - we can never please God by ourselves (in fact he hates it if we try) and - He looks at us through the perfect righteousness of His son who paid the price for us. We always need to hear this news. This never becomes old news.

A few weeks ago I read an interesting blog about preaching the gospel to yourself - based on a CJMahaney book - & how it helps us in our walk every day. It's not something that comes naturally to me. I always think that focusing on the gospel message is not enough, because we need to move on to 'meaty' teaching. And we do. But the more I hear different preachers speaking on various basic aspects of the gospel - grace... guilt ... I realise how we do need to be focusing on this all the time as well.

Anyway the fact that God not only saved us from our 'sin' - once & for all on the cross, but He also saves us continually; from our fears, from our weaknesses, from sins we can't shake - this is part of the Gospel message and constitutes 'meaty' teaching as well. Paul in his letter to the Romans refers to this saved as justification or sanctification. On Romans 6 "Justification by faith is the basis on which we are sanctified - or set apart - for God"

In other words "Christians aren't actually free from sinning in this life but God's justification of us is the basis of a new freedom to resist the rule of sin in our lives"

So good to remember when struggling with sin; that I'm covered by grace. I don't need to angst about it; on the contrary - the freedom this gives from guilt & the gratitude of that can spur us on to stay focused on Jesus & praise Him; and this fills us with His love and power to help us change & get it right.

But we also need lots of anointing from the Holy Spirit with power to overcome these things we battle with. And I've been learning how to receive this anointing more than I've done before. And how to focus on the grace; and it makes such a difference to daily life.

The Empower conference (featuring Rob Rufus) hosted by my church over the weekend was the most amazing experience; and I learned loads or was impacted by 'old' truths in a new fresh way:

(The law says 'do' ... grace says 'it's done'... the law says 'God won't forget your sins' ... the promise says 'I won't remember your sins" ... law says "if you lie you're also guilty of adultery, murder etc.' ... grace says only unforgivable sin is not trusting in Jesus and His sacrifice for us.)

It was very reassuring to hear Rob say that we never need to plead or 'accost' heaven with our pleas for God to bless or anoint us, because it's all there for us if we learn how to receive it - with our hearts, not our minds. Oh my word, I can't even begin to explain how much I needed to hear/know that and how much God poured into me this weekend once I bypassed my worrying, arguing, mental processes!

The best things about this preacher was that he was basically preaching grace in biblical yet relevant way which somehow hit home. Testimonial comments are always so powerful as well, aren't they? When he commented on areas that he knows he could be better in, with preaching/witnessing - something so causing me angst lately - and pointed out that when Satan attacks us with guilt in that area, it's not because he wants people to be saved!! Flip - I just realised at work the next day; if we do focus on Jesus and just receive from Him all that the Holy Spirit has for us, none of which we need to earn; we'd be so filled with joy that witnessing would just come naturally. And he's right; really the main prayers we need to be doing would be for others.

No more prayers inhibited by knowledge that I'm not praying enough - God still hears me because of Jesus
No more stressing at work because I'm not a good enough witness with words - focussing on my guilt free status in God's eyes (cos of Jesus) will keep me praising & thanking God in gratitude.
No more life impacted by things of the past which keep us from knowing who we are in Christ -

Perhaps the most encouraging thing for me was to hear that this anointed preacher (who spends hours in prayer, unlike me!) still reminds himself up to 20 times every day, or whenever he has just failed in some way, the Good News of who he is in Christ & prays "Thankyou Lord that was the 'old me' but you have made me new. Thank you that "I am a new creation, in Christ the old has gone & the new has come".

Thank you Lord!

So much more than we ask for

The end of a dream?
The scene is indelibly marked on my memory: I am sitting in the Headmistress’ office, where I have been summoned like a naughty child; with the Head of Year and the Maths Tutor all in attendance. But I am not a child at school; I am a Graduate Teacher Trainee – and, unbelievably, I’ve just been told that ‘if I pass the course I will be a mediocre teacher’ and they are ‘not asking me to leave but are unable to support me any more’!!

Is this an end to the dream of being able to serve God in some kind of meaningful children’s work? Or another lesson in how God is in everything and can bring meaning to everything that happens in our lives?

Isn’t it amazing how God works? How we might want or ask for things and he doesn’t give them, but then turns around and showers blessings unimagined on us.
How opportunities that arise – or circumstances into which you can seen driven! – can seem so random & unconnected; but are all still in God’s loving purpose for us, his children.

Well I’m still hanging in there for that dream. And in the mean time I’m learning and changing so much, in so many ways.

Failure from God
I know my struggle with the intensity of the year-long, school-based course is partly a result of the continuing battle against Chronic Fatigue (CFS). But there is no doubt that a poor mentor and an in-experienced tutor has led to my current situation. However, although I feel sure that God confirmed the course as a step from Him; and I’m sure that given time, experience & support I could have done it; the catalogue of disasters that have led to this moment prove beyond doubt that God has been in it all along. And, nightmare-ish as the situation might have seemed; and my long-held dream to work with children, apparently coming to naught – the sheer incongruity of what they are saying makes me laugh out loud. I am still laughing as I leave the office. Praise God for his ‘peace that passes understanding’!

From bad to worse
I thought I was well past the bad times, those years in my 20s when the CFS was so bad that I had been directed back to the family home & unable to work for months. Surely now, I’d thought, being able to do this course & maybe gain a few years teaching experience before moving into some children’s ministry – surely now things were finally getting better for me. Little did I know that I would end up temping again for months then only able to find a part time, low paid job; still living ‘at home’ yet struggling with finances more than ever before. No improvement in my health, no prospects and desperate for something to change.

Time in the ‘desert’
I tell myself that all the best people had to go through years of experiences and growth before God can use them in some work (!) After all Abraham had to wait years & years before having the children needed to prove God’s promise. Moses had 40 years shepherding in the wilderness before he was ready for God’s work for him. But he needed those years; God knew this angry young man that had thought nothing of murdering someone, was not ready for the work of leading God’s people to their promised land.

Corrie-Ten-Boom – a great inspiration to me – was 51 when she went into the labour camp & so in her mid 50s when she embarked on her work ‘tramping for the Lord’. But during that first part of her life, nothing was wasted; she learned skills in the watch making business with her father, helped look after children of missionaries in the home and established groups for teenagers that were to be the forerunner of guides in Holland! And we know how amazingly God used her in the prison camp.

So these people had great work to do – but it didn’t happen straight away, they had to wait. Sometimes they didn’t know what it was they were waiting for! But during that time, God was doing all sorts of work in their lives, ensuring they were ready.
During these waiting/preparing years God may have lots of work to do in us. But he also has for us many unexpected blessings. So often He has so much more for us that what we ask him for.

Unexpected learning curves
Well it’s 3 years since that potentially traumatic moment and I’m far from realising the dream. But in the last 6 months I have been blessed with living in a new town, with a new church fellowship and more friends my own age and able to manage a job that’s a bit more of a challenge. The previous job within the organisation – working for & with adults with a Learning Disability – has given me an experience and knowledge in areas about which I was previously very ignorant. I wonder if this is all part of the preparation for something else? And teaching experience confirmed that my heart for children is definitely more pastoral than educational.

Unexpected healing
Sometimes I cannot believe that I am the same timid person who was frightened to speak in front of the class – as I now address a hall full of children (& leaders) to teach them about Jesus. Or that the closed young woman withdrawn from the world & happiest alone, is now becoming more sociable, enjoying sharing my testimony to encourage others and reaching out to those who are in need.

As well as gradual inner healing of confidence & from fear & rejection, begun during a healing retreat on my return home 10 years ago; the Freedom in Christ ministry has been another means by which God has been showing me the lies that I was still believing about myself, deep rooted ones that are crucial to my health & well being. I now realise that it is sometimes only when hurts have been completely healed, that we can come alongside people/children who are in need and minister to them God’s love & healing. God works miracles every day; but he works though us, through our own experiences & understanding, and through practically applied wisdom gained from him.

Unexpected gifting
The 6 months teacher training certainly weren’t wasted: it helped my children’s work at church immeasurably and I learned some skills to help deal with difficult children. A real heart for children has been revealed. Other experiences have been more obviously useful: co-leading a week-long kids club at my church as well as the weekly club – these have taught me loads about handling children en masse as well as individually. Even now, doing children’s work in my new church, confidence is being increased as new challenges arise with a bigger group of kids. I can see that my skills & experience can be used here.

Unexpected blessings
And there were the 3 boisterous & insecure children of a single parent with MS that I was able to help. Their father showing insufficient interest and mother nearly housebound with MS; being able to support the family in all sorts of ways and have practical & emotional input in their lives was such an honour from God! (It’s been hard to lose them, though; when their father eventually took them to live with him)

Romans 8 ‘we know that all things work for good for those who love the Lord…’ With God – everything is for a purpose. Nothing is wasted.
I want people to be encouraged that God can be working in, blessing & gifting us in so many ways, while we may not be doing what we feel to be our dream or getting what we so badly want. Things are far from being as I’d like & it’s sometimes such a struggle to be patient & to keep waiting on the Lord; both for healing and working with children in some way. But all that I’ve been through, discovered and all the change in me – like the dream in my heart – it’s not for nothing. With our father God, nothing is ever wasted; and everything that happens to us has a meaning; everything is for a reason.

And he gives us so much more than we ask for.

Nice end to the week

Ahh, I was just coming into the library behind an old (non-English) gentleman on crutches who had been told mistakenly that he could get a service that we provide, from the library & had hobbled his way around all for nothing. So I poked my nose in when the ladies were about to send him yards up the road to our closed building; advised that he could ring us on Monday and gave him the number etc. He was so pleased! And I feel inordinately chuffed. A nice end to a week where I've not felt good. (It's little things!) Thanks Lord.

A pretty cool quiz thing (for Christians...)

If you like quizzies (even Christian ones!) then you may like the below. I've read it once & only found 8 books of the bible so it may take a while; but I can access the answers as apparently the blogger who posted it does know them, so if anyone wants 'em - let me know.

In this paragraph there are (apparently) 30 books of the bible to be found.Have fun!

This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his johnboat. Another friend studied it while playing the banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend was so intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving the puzzle so involving; she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That's a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam; especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalized. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new sales record. The local paper, The Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humble puts it, "The books are right there in plain view hidden from sight." Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. Also keep in mind that punctuation and spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude will help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus, there are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in the paragraph, waiting to be found!