Praise God when?! (Surrender)

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians v 5)

Catherine Marshall has been a big inspiration to me; she was so open about her walk with God and how long it took to really learn some lessons - and how patient God is; such an encouragement.

One of her books was instrumental in bringing to an end to a struggle I was going through several years ago; unable to balance not being healed with believing that it was God's will for healing. Catherine describes her relinquishment of her understanding of God's word (gained through much 'reading books and attending meetings and a minimum of experience') to realising the importance of trusting that God is 'in' everything.

This time that she was writing about spanned over 20 years and included 18 months bed-bound with ill health as a young woman, the death of her husband when only in their forties and later the death of 2 grandchildren as babies. Yet the phrase she uses to describe her life with God is 'spiritual adventure'. In Something More she writes:

'I had been puzzled, as had others, about a seeming 'contradiction between relinquishment and praying with faith... from the four gospels we can tell that God is 'on the side' of health... I had felt myself to be in accord with God's will in asking for healing. I loathed the idea of disease and of being sick and had self-righteously set myself not to submit to illness... 'believing' to the limit of my ability (what I thought was faith) had resulted in nothing...I realised then what I'd really been saying to Him 'I'll keep a certain amount of rebellion and pin it to a good cause (against disease) Then I had added with due piety 'of course God, i only insist on this because I know it's your will'. But God's reply had never varied. 'You can't insist on anything. I will not let you harbour rebellion for any cause. Lay your arms down.' Then God says 'You did read the Gospels correctly about healing. But the important thing is not whether your ideas are right. Learn this: you can't trust in your own understanding any more than you can trust in your own righteousness. I am offended by even one odious whiff of spiritual self-exaltation.'..

...I saw that previous to being willing to bow before God to worship Him and lifting only empty hands, I had been steadily refusing to recognise the totality of God's authority in my situation. God is 'in' everything. Even illness"

This is so biblical. I think sometimes it can be tempting to fall into a trap of thinking of God as being involved in apower struggle with the devil, battling for control of the situation. But read Job and the Gospels accounts of Jesus' death & resurrection and it's clear this is not the case. Catherine points to the sermon on the mount, where Jesus says how 2 sparrows can't fall to the ground without their heavenly father. "The Greek for 'without' is strong & means more than our understanding of the word; this doesn't just mean 'without' God's consent but 'without' his participating presence".

I have come across the idea of praising God 'in' everything before; most notably in Corrie-Ten-Boom's recounting her reluctance to thank God for the fleas in their concentration camp barracks ... only to find out later that it was these that were preventing the guards coming in and enabling the sisters to teach and minister to all the women with them in a 'myriad of ways' resulting in many conversions. Praise God for the fleas indeed.

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name (Hebrews)

The use of the word sacrifice shows the writers understood well what it costs to praise God at times. And when we look at the persecution experienced by NT readers it's no wonder.

In fact the power of praise is seen in the OT & the NT. (In fact I think the Psalms has the most use of the word 'praise' than any other book). King Jehosophat was commanded to turn his back on his enemy & praise God (2 Chronicles 20 v 21, 22) Remember Paul & Silas praising God while chained up in some dank hole of a prison - and the doors flung open wide.

When we praise God in the midst of trouble, we're giving up something; our will, our 'right' to be the one who decides how things go for us; our limited understanding of how the universe works! We are sacrificing the right to the blessings we feel are due to us. We are making a statement of faith that He is 'in' everything; and nothing is out of his power & control.

And I am seeing how praising God even when everything seems (or is!) bad is changing my perspective and showing me in a very real way how God is bigger than the situation. I've had some bad times in the last year or so; but just coming to God and thanking him for it the other day, even, a statement of my trust that He was in it - just changed everything. I felt flooded with love for God and for other people involved, leading into prayer for them, healing for me. SO powerful. Even when just being kept awake when exhausted the other week, by loud music in the middle of the night ... giving that to God led to a revelation from Him that my rest is in Him. (A relinquishment soon followed by peace and an ability to relax; more important even than the subsequent cessation of the noise)

I want to always be able to do this - in the middle of trouble, not just after; whether the problems are big or small. Can I do it?What a step of faith (outworked in obedience). Well you know what Hebrews 11 v 6 says about faith...

Your way Lord, not mine

I wish I could explain effectively to people how things are for me, it's so strange & yet so amazing; I feel that if I could then people could know even more how in charge God is & the way He loves to bless us; but in His own way. This is my attempt to get it clear in my mind, as well as felt.
I am being so blessed by God at the moment, it just keeps me going so I almost forget that healing is taking, what for me, seems far too long.

I read recently, in a novel, someone say how things that happen to us/hurts (life!) are trapped in our bodies; and I was amazed because I've never come across that idea apart from the fact it's true for me. At the moment - well for quite a while now - it's like the Holy Spirit is healing me from the bottom up; starting deep down, emotionally & physically, and slowly but surely, & recently a well of joy is rising up; since the other weekend especially, as I've been 'waiting' on God's power more; and as a result I want to pray with people more & more. (But when I do, it seems God is moving in me, blessing me!)

(And when I do pray for others, I pray for healing if required, because that's in line with His will as taught in the bible; but I also pray that they'll be blessed in other ways - because I know, now, that God has so many more ways of blessing us than we can ask for, and to limit it 'just' to healing (or whatever the need is) doesn't take into account all the other good things that He loves to give us and how much He longs to pore into us Himself. The best thing I've learned lately; to come to God for a blessing is not too selfish; because each time I do, He just makes it so I want to come to God for himself & that I'm enjoying just His presence.)

However - there are things (like we all have) that are sometimes making me feel sad or hurt (which I've taken into my physical self in the past rather than felt). Also, it can still, physically, be a real struggle at times to be sociable; among other things - a recurring 'strained' feeling; my face actually aches, my head feels heavy, and it's hard to smile (although that's been better lately to.) But I do feel stronger somehow, more 'in control': I can feel myself sitting up straight & ... just feeling more with-it, I guess. I can see God is really healing me from the inside out & from the bottom up (!) and I feel like it's nearly there.

But it's in God's timing: & I really wouldn't have it any other way. If I hadn't suffered over the last years; if God had 'pow' just healed me of physical ill-health, then I would still be introverted & resentful & all sorts; and how would I know so uniquely God's amazing grace, kindness & love & power to change us while, at the same times, making us more who we really are and more able to know Him and His love?(I could go on & on about what God is/has been doing, but I'll spare you). Just.... Praise God!

(NB. I'm hoping to do a coupla blogs/articles about suffering; watch this space ....)

No comment

Well I have (temporarily) withdrawn the opportunity to comment on posts. This is for various reasons, including that; on the occasions when an article feels that God is in it, the comment that someone has been blessed has always been given privately & these are the most important responses for me. Also, if a blog is not particularly special but I still think it's OK & I don't get comments at all, I can feel quite disappointed, depending on my mood! But then... I don't like comments for the sake of it, so...
But then, those comments that people have been encouraged are nice too...& actually, when I look at the previous post, it seems wrong to have no comments - I mean, to not even have '0 comments'!!

Well for someone who can be decisive about big things, I can't half make an issue about things that actually don't matter at all! (No comment!)

(A little of) my life in Letters

To .... Gas Co.

Dear Sirs
Please accept this letter as thanks for the prompt remedy of the gas problem I experienced this week. As you can imagine, I was startled to arrive home to a note that a gas scare meant my gas had been turned off and I would potentially be unable to partake of my evening pastie (!) I was very impressed and relieved when it transpired that the 'gas man' who had called was still in the area & able to return during the 20 minutes remaining of my lunch-break - and even more pleased when he showed me the rusty mess that was my gas meter, which he has replaced with a brand-spanking-new one! This event is made even more fortuitous by the fact that I had been previously unable to find my gas meter, which, for some inexplicable reason, was located in a completely different part of the building than those of the other flats (behind a panel just inside the front door, in fact!) I will now be able to pay for my gas supplies without the concern occasioned by the lack of meter reading that was starting to cause me some anxiety. Thank you very much for your excellent & prompt assistance and help.


To ... Energy Co.

Dear Sirs
Just a quick note of thanks for the unexpected surprise I received when ringing your company about the ridiculously high bill for the little flat that I rent. You can imagine how pleased I was to be told that somehow the meter had been read only this week and the reading was a lot lower than the bill said and I was going to be refunded rather than billed this month! This also solves a nagging problem for me caused by the unexpected & sudden closure of the business below my flats which has prevented my accessing the meters to provide an accurate reading. What a relief and an answer to prayer! Thanks again.

To ... mobile 'phone co.

Dear Sirs
Following receipt of my last bill from you I would like to request a refund of the £12.97 insurance NOT required and not previously explained.This is the first month my bill was to be around the £.. that I am supposed to be paying and I was horrified to find it nearly double. I cannot afford this kind of trickery from your company!I have already survived an attempt to extend my contract further by an enthusiastic sales rep. who 'phoned me at the most inconvenient time possible and then ignored my clear injunction not to this.However, I will be extending the contract indefinitely if I'm not put off .... for life by unexpected insurance costs.I look forward to hearing from you soon OR receiving the refund in order to maintain my happy relationship with your 'phone company above others.

Yours faithfully


Dear TV Licensing Co.

I am very excited to announce I shall no longer be the recipient of a TV license. The money will be used very usefully to pay for membership of a DVD club through which I can watch, not only excellent films that are never on the TV (which has pretty repetitive & poor choice) but also some of the few enjoyable programmes on; which I miss often due to other commitments. I can thus avoid the rubbish that is on at the times when I AM in the mood for TV; and avoid the temptation to waste minutes of my life in front of soap operas, fly-on-the-wall dramas & the dreaded Big Brother. Hurrah!



Dear....

I really enjoyed my long overdue visit to you yesterday. I am so sorry that I am being such a bad friend to you; I don't know why I'm finding it so hard to visit and chat with you; I know if I was in your shoes and so abandoned I might be struggling with resentment; especially with the loss of the children from their home with you. Yet you still ring to chat and are pleased to see me when I do come for not long enough. The thing is, that kind of socialising still doesn't come that naturally, it comes more easily to be serving & working than small-talk & chit chat and I think it always will for me. My circumstances have changed as well, but I can't blame just that; I find it hard to sacrifice the time to give to you now because it's harder. I'm not sure how much that is a natural moving on, because your needs are no longer met by my gifts; or an abdication by me of responsibility. Either way, it's not your fault. Forgive me.


Dear church elders

Well I hope this isn't too late as a report of how God has blessed me through & since the conference at church the other weekend. I had really been bothered by the fact that I have been unable to really worship during church - & other times. However, during the conference God really ministered his Holy Spirit and, without any laying of hands or anything something was released enabling me to worship properly for the first time in ... maybe ever.

I really enjoyed last Sunday's worship which seemed as if it would never end (!) it was lovely to be among a few still worshipping while others were freed to collect children or take visitors to the cafe etc.; this from the person who has never been able to stay in a prayer meeting for longer than an hour!All in all, I have been blessed very much by God since coming to this church and I thank you for your commitment to being guided by - and obedient to - God, in your church leadership. I praise God for how He is moving in the church & that He brought me here just when He did.